Goodbye Lockdown and the Best Drive Time Ever

Today I want to take a moment to discuss COVID and lockdown.  If these topics are hard for you then please feel free to ignore this.  I only discuss it now as I return to retail so for me, lockdown is over.  For some it never began as they were working throughout.  Then there are lots who are still working from home.  

I have been dreading this day.  I knew it would come.  However, for several reasons from the company I work for to the general public who I am likely to interact with I was not looking forward to it.  

 

Lockdown has been good to me.  

 

In a lot of ways I have been happier than I have been before.  It has also given me time and perspective which has put some changes in motion.  I have been working on my mental health and, with the exceptions of when work contacted me (wow did that cause an issue), I was doing pretty well in comparison to before.  I’m actually disappointed that I won’t be able to continue the work I have started with to the same extent.  When people assume that I must be happy to return and excited by the prospect it is hard to keep my disappointment to myself.  Especially when your manager makes pointed comments about the lack of enthusiasm from some people, including myself, to the news of opening.

 

I also admit that I am very much an introvert.  My favourite things to do involve naps, games, or anything that means staying in.  Don’t get me wrong I do enjoy going out and seeing people but I need far less social time in person than a lot of people.  I have taken several holidays to stay at home and do nothing in particular.  People always act like that’s a shame and I tend to respond well it was precisely what I planned and hoped for.  I like to leave things early before I am too drained.  I can go without actual in person social interaction for longer than most people and not feel bad about it.  I get that this is unusual but I cope well with it.   

 

Drive time and streaming has helped me so much and given me such a boost through this time.  I will always be thankful to all of you who have come along at times and regularly.  Getting to chat with you all has been wonderful and your friendships mean the world to me.  This isn’t the end of streaming by far but it feels like the end of an era of sorts.  My regular slot has kept me focused during the day.  I’ve had a plan and a routine as well as something to look forward to.  It is very hard to truly explain what streaming means to me but it has given me so much and the GD drive time has been great for me.  I’ve also loved that I have provided a great background for so many people hard at work.  You are all doing so well and in case no one has told you I will… you are doing a good job, I am proud of you.  You are all superstars for coping with your feelings on COVID, working through and adjusting to working from home in a very stressful time.

 

Honestly my sleep has sort of defaulted to its happy place.  I’ve always been a night owl.  Whilst I never necessarily stayed up all night I am more awake at night and capable of doing more.  Recently my sleep has been from about 3am period until around 11am.  In doing this I have felt more awake, more capable and more productive.  Yet it is incompatible with the 7am work starts that I am likely to get when our opening returns to “standard” though that is not currently required.  Especially as that generally means a 5:30/6am wake up call.  Whilst it may not have been a great idea of letting my sleep slip to this, it is hard to try to keep it in the sort of acceptable range.  My sleep schedule can’t be strict when I work anyway as the earliest I could start is 7am and the latest I could finish is 10pm.  So I could either need to wake up at 5:30am or thereabouts or I could only get into bed at 1am having managed to do everything I needed to once I got home.  Retail is good at preparing you for lack of sleep.  However, managing to get regular sleep which leaves me feeling like a vaguely productive human makes me sad to leave it behind in my lockdown memories.  I realise that I probably should have tried to be stricter with my sleep schedule but hindsight is perfect and using my judgement on what makes me feel better isn’t always great.  The main thing has been I’ve felt better in this time, and have started learning new things and doing new things. 

 

I also have some fear over the unknown, the uncertainty and the return to non-lockdown life.  I don’t trust people to be safe when you see pictures of mass gatherings and hear the stories of people travelling hundreds of miles because it’s a sunny weekend.  The talks of people going on holiday and the rush to the pubs when they reopened terrify me.  The easing measures have been filling me with concern, though we are told it is safe to open non-essential retail that doesn’t mean people will be sensible.  Knowing people in this area… well let’s just say it isn’t necessarily unfounded.  

 

So goodbye lockdown.  Goodbye freedom.  Goodbye perspective and alternative opportunities.  I hope to continue the work I have done on myself and continuing with the new perspective I have gained.  Until change happens I guess I need to cross my fingers and hope for the best.

 

Stay safe, stay home where possible, wear a mask (unless medically you can’t) and wash your hands.  And if you do go shopping treat the retail staff well, I go back because I have no choice and if I didn’t work there I wouldn’t be going anywhere near it.

 

16 thoughts on “Goodbye Lockdown and the Best Drive Time Ever

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  1. As this is the end of an era I would like to thank you for keeping me company on the majority of my working mornings. It’s been delightful getting to know you better, GD. Hopefully I’ll still be able to drop in on other streams when they happen. 🙂

    I also hope you’re able to stay safe. Things opened up here (Ontario, CA) a few weeks back and it’s been a total…shi-er…mess. I’d expect as much anywhere else. Fingers crossed.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Aww thank you for coming along and knowing exactly when to push me in the right direction with hints or look up what I was meant to be doing as I ran around not having a clue.

      It is uh interesting… I’m trying to stay safe but I’ll see you on another stream at some point!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I hope everyone stays smart and respectful, and you’re able to feel safe at work! I know I’ve been in the same position, working from home and really enjoying the freedom to pursue other things (like a regular exercise schedule…) and feeling a sort-of peace of mind I’ve never had before. My company hasn’t re-opened as of yet, and I’m absolutely dreading going back.

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  3. I didn’t get to catch as many of your Twitch streams as I would have liked, but I did have a lot of fun hanging out in chat and watching you blow up stuff in Ratchet & Clank(Groovitron!) and feeding the koalas 🐨 in Zoo Tycoon.

    I’ve worked a few retail jobs before, so I know all too well the…stupidity that tends to come with it and how draining it can be at the end of the day, especially for the more-introverted types. Take care out there and stay safe! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  4. If it wasn’t for drive time I’d have never gotten to know you GD, it has been an absolute pleasure all the way from my first time watching when you played Unravel. That sounds a bit like a goodbye but it’s not, if you ever hit that stream button I’ll be there! Gotta get that trophy emote and there’s never enough happy monkeys.

    We are very alike on the sleep pattern side, I’m on leave now and wanted to get a more ‘normal’ sleep pattern but have ended up with 1-2am to 11am, I think if that’s how you operate best and you’re on leave then that’s absolutely fine. It’s just brining it back to ‘normality’ in time for going back to work is the hardest!

    We’re all still here GD if you ever need to offload anything just reach out on Discord or hit that stream button.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Please take care, and stay safe (I know that’s a given because some people don’t listen even when retail staff tries to diffuse a situation). I pray for your health and your continuing growth through this time.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I miss you and Drive Time so much 😭 It was an amazing era! Stay safe and I can’t wait to see you online again soon. I hope all the covidiots don’t do any damage.

    Also, still working on winning the lottery so I can hire you to stream full time 😀

    Liked by 1 person

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